Green Day - ¡Dos! (2012)
Y'know, I never actually listened to that Foxboro Hot Tubs album, even when my brother was trying to convince me "it's actually really good" back in 2009, in an attempt to get it on my shitty Creative Zen MP3 player (the fucking piece of shit MP3 player would delete my own fucking songs, holy shit, fuck them) so I don't know if a comparison of that and this album would be accurate, despite what I've been told, but this is a good garage-rock album for what it is, really, just not anywhere close to being GREAT, and fuck, dude, HOW many other Green Day songs did they (un)intentionally jack a melody or riff from for this album?! There's like a fucking million moments on this album that make me think "this is definitely inspired by another Green Day album" or even another artist, like in the case of "Makeout Party" pretty much having the bassline shamelessly ripped from Jet's "Are You Gonna Be My Girl".. What the fuck, Mike Dirnt? You're better than this!! You're on the fucking cover of the album and you do THIS?! Shame.
Here's something about this album that rubs me the wrong way: So.. How come "Stray Heart" is about Billie Joe Armstrong cheating, or at least being tempted to cheat? Yeah, song concept, yeah.. But then "Lady Cobra" kicks in about him being fascinated with this Lady Cobra character, yeah, song concept, yeah, I know, he wasn't actually fascinated with a girl named "Whatsername" years back, you don't gotta be a dumbass and tell me.. But then "Nightlife (feat. Lady Cobra)" kicks in, and it's a "what the fuck?" song (rapping in MY Green Day? Surely this is a mirage) but it shows that this Lady Cobra character IS A REAL FUCKING WOMAN from a mostly-unknown band called Mystic Knights of the Cobra which isn't even a popular band, so it's not like they had gotten a collaboration with a fellow popular artist, or even an artist from their scene.. What the fuck is going on? Did Billie Joe Armstrong cheat on his wife with this girl in real life or is it just a REALLY uncomfortable situation that's implied for the sake of the "plot" of this album? This is getting a bit too far down the rabbit-hole, I guess..
Overall, I think this album is pretty fucking dumb musically, but I can't deny that there are some fun moments on it: "Fuck Time" is a good ol' rompin' time for when you wanna romp someone's romp-hole in your romper, and hell, "See You Tonight" is a great opening for the album that's tragically short, I mean it, I REALLY wish they had expanded on this track, for at least another minute, because as shown by the closing track "Amy", Billie Joe Armstrong can be a calming musician when on his own, and the 1994 Billie Joe Armstrong wouldn't have any of that, but fuck that guy. "Stop When the Red Lights Flash" sounded like it'd be fun live, and y'know, I heard Green Day do that whole "we play music live, give us money to see us do that when we come to your city" thing that a lot of artists/bands seem to do, so I guess they're just HOPPING ON THE FUCKING BANDWAGON!! FUCKING POSER FUCKS I HAVEN'T LIKED GREEN DAY SINCE THEY RELEASED "腹瀉" IN 1858!! YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY COOL ABOUT 1858? IF YOU LOOK THAT YEAR UP ON WIKIPEDIA, ALL OF THE FAMOUS PEOPLE BORN IN THAT YEAR ARE FUCKING DEAD. MOTHERFUCKING DEAD. HOW COOL IS THAT? I WISH I WAS THEM.
7/10
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Read about this album on Wikipedia! Great stuff to read while on the toilet! Yeah!
