Emmure - Speaker of the Dead (2011)

I honestly don't believe that Emmure is the bottom of the barrel when it comes to metal, or even close. Now that I'm older, you gotta realize there's a -lot- worse metal than Emmure, just listen to Opeth. Old people playing metal? Old people are HATERS! Fuck 'em.

"I WANNA WATCH YOU SUCK HIS DICK.. I KNOW YOU FUCKING LOVE IT, BITCH!!" has to be the absolute worst lyric of all time that was ever said with the utmost confidence, not a shred of irony, or self-awareness. I think this line will go down in the musical history books as a legendary moment that showed the tried and true extents of what can be considered poetry. What I'm trying to say is that it's a fucking legendary lyric and my friend made an entire song based around that one line, and God, do I wish I still had it.. This album is pretty fun, it's fucking DUMB, don't get me wrong, this is one STUPID AS FUCK album that doesn't seem like it's even slightly aware of the smell of its own shit, but it's funner than going through Ethiopia in an ice cream van. Don't believe me? Go do that shit while listening to this album and realize "hey, this album IS funner than getting stabbed repeatedly in the fucking chest" so really, when it comes to spending a little over half an hour, you could do a lot worse.. Like with Opeth! More like Ohno! Haha! MORE LIKE OHNOTHISSUCKS! HAHA!! MORE LIKE OHNOTHISSUCKSANDITSBAD haha I don't know when to let jokes die.

7/10
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Feel free to check out the song previews/buy this album using my Amazon Associate link!