Ramirez - Meet Me Where The River Turns Grey (2016)

I used to try to fuck with my girlfriend pretty heavily when we first started dating and she didn't know me that well. I used to tell her "call me when the water runs black" whenever she'd text me seeing if she could call me. She didn't know what the fuck I was talking about and neither did I, but damn, through the confusion, she still went for it. She deserves a medal for putting up with my bullshit and letting me stick my penis into her that one time.

With how much he talks about it, wouldn't it be hella weird if Ramirez actually did end up killing himself, and he found himself in an afterlife exclusively full of people who committed suicide, and they were all huge fans of him and $UICIDEBOY$? It'd be like they were meeting a fucking HERO! "Haha cool stuff man. I was listening to your tape when I overdosed on sleeping meds." They'd say in an attempt to impress him. One time, this complete fucking dumbass who had never even talked to my girlfriend messaged her on Facebook trying to get some sympathy (READ: a big ol' plate of e-pussy) by acting like he was going to kill himself and "I feel like I can trust you" and shit. He said that he was going to kill himself by already having ingested like 400MG of Diphenhydramine, which is a fucking shitty trip (I've gotten high on it multiple times and every time was awful, also worth noting is that I'm a dumbass) but has no fucking chance of killing him. I tried to be a good sport and told her "tell him to take the whole bottle if he's serious about this" but she wasn't having it because she's some kind of harlot that actually cares about people. Anyway, the dude remained very coherent (because he had never actually taken the fucking sleeping meds, surprise surprise) and eventually went to sleep. That's what I call a fucking beta piece of shit, yeah. Anyhow, Ramirez reminds me a -lot- of that dude but with better beats, and dreamier atmospheres meant to compliment your threats of ending your life via Tylenol PM. This is some good shit (especially "Sarcophagus II (feat. $UICIDEBOY$)" and that last track, "The Mud (Remix) (feat. Jeff Mack$, ShyTripThaGhost & Dretti Franks)") that'll have you yelling "iViva la DPH! His bitch really DOES look like Android 18!!.. Oh fuck, I need to lay down" as you start hallucinating giant spiders on your walls because you are that variety of dumbass who makes vague references to ending your life to try to get nudes from women on social media. Seriously, dude, what the fuck. Faking killing yourself to fulfill your selfish wants? BRILLIANT idea. You get an A for effort.

7/10
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Feel free to stream this album for FREE or buy it from Ramirez's Bandcamp!