Slipknot - All Hope is Gone (2008)
So I was hanging out with my girl, right? She always wants to do some dumb stupid shit like try to get me to communicate with her about things that aren't related to her toilet parts. We were driving on the highway and she's all "I like this album" when we were listening to this album and I'm all "FICKITY FUGGITY FUCK YOU FUCKIN' SLIGGITY SLOGGITY COMMUNIST" and I kicked her out of the passenger door while we were going 90 MPH. The worst part of all of this is the fact that going by the whole "FICKITY FUGGITY FUCK" leading into "SLIGGITY SLOGGITY", you probably thought I was going to call her a slut, but that's on you, not me, you fucking misogynist. Fucking piece of shit. Anyhow, how's about this album, huh? I remember being 14 or so and catching the music video for "Psychosocial" on Fuse TV and for some reason registering it as being death metal (this is the same mind that labeled an As I Lay Dying album as "EXTREME CHRISTIAN DEATH METAL" on my Xbox 360) and wrote them off, but then my friend Gemma was all "No, they're fucking awesome" and I gave them another chance. Gemma had a baby girl a few years back and everyone was so "OOO WHEN BB COME OUT" when she was pregnant that when she recently had a baby boy just a year ago, she didn't announce it on Facebook: She just posted a picture of herself with him and even her own fucking family members were commenting about having no idea that she was pregnant, and to call them immediately. That's Gemma for ya.
I wish I could say "this album is jam-packed with awesome and chaotic songs, but that's Slipknot for ya" but I really can't. Corey Taylor abandoned the whole high-yell thing he was doing in favor of a lower-pitched growl, and it actually sounds pretty nice, but he's still singing a shitload, and I love his clean vocals, don't get me wrong, but the music is still toned down immensely from what it used to be. I guess this album appeals more to the metal purists because it's noticeably less nu-metal than the other albums, and has more guitar solos, which are really just a bunch of high notes being tapped quickly, and finally we get not one, but TWO complete "there's NO fucking way this isn't Stone Sour" songs in the form of "Dead Memories" and the especially emotional (and good, mind you) "Snuff", and again we get a "ooo so spooky don't fuck with me" track in the form of "Gehenna" which is complete fucking garbage, but the rest of the album, no matter how much Corey Taylor tries to pack in nonsensical "I know some big words" lyrics about depression and even fucking politics, which I've never had the urge to listen to a member of Slipknot about, hardly of this shit really has any FUCKIN' BALLS behind it! Sure, the two political tracks "Gematria (The Killing Name)" and the title track have promise behind them for an entire album like them, but even they don't hold a candle to what the band has done previously, on a musical or emotional level, and don't get me started on how disappointing it was to see that there was a song called "Butcher's Hook" with such a fuckin' wimpy chorus in it!! Far from being a terrible album, but everything you like about Slipknot can be found done much better on virtually any of their other studio albums aside from "Mate. Feed. Kill. Repeat." if that even counts as one.
6/10
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Feel free to check out the song previews/buy this album using my Amazon Associate link!
