Strapping Young Lad - Heavy as a Really Heavy Thing (1995)
A few weeks ago, a bunch of what I assumed were lady bugs, but turned out to be Japanese beetles came in through the cracks in my window. I must've killed literally a fucking HUNDRED in just thirty minutes alone, spraying Black Flag spray on them and smashing the ones that'd escape. I hate the little fucking bastards and apparently they bite, but thankfully I never experienced that. Now, this album by Strapping Young Lad, which is really pretty much a solo Devin Townsend release, would've been the perfect soundtrack for all of my frustrations during that period of time in which I was basically like when you activate Trevor Phillips' special ability in "Grand Theft Auto V" and start killing absolutely fucking everything. This album was said by Devin Townsend himself to only really have two good, no, GREAT songs on it, being "S.Y.L." and "In the Rainy Season", which happens to be the first two tracks, so straight out the gate is Devin Townsend's (at the time) best foot extended to stomp on your genitals, and man, do they rip or what?! The songs, that is, not your genitals being crushed.
"S.Y.L." is one of the fucking angriest songs you'll ever hear!! Devin Townsend opens the song (and album) with a creepy sample of a child telling a story about a bear eating some children, and then BAM, before you know it, Devin Townsend is screaming with the utmost believably that "I FUCKING HATE YOU, I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!" and holy fucking shit, he sounds like he has something against ME personally, that's how "I'm turtle-heading" this guy sounds on this song!! It leads perfectly into "In the Rainy Season" to the point where they might as well just be one song, and I have no fucking idea what he's talking about in the song ("And just don't think about that room, oh holy fuck, oh holy fuck, OH HOLY FUCK!!") but DAMN it fuckin' rips and it's heavy like.. It's heavy like.. It's heavy like something that holds a fair bit of weight to it. Fuck you. Don't fucking patronize me. Who knows if this album was secretly written about his time with Steve Vai or not, but damn, whoever this album is about needs to WATCH THE FUCK OUT because Devy's out for blood!!
The album takes a swift turn mostly for the worst after this. "Goat" sounds like a shitty Pantera song, "Happy Camper (Carpe B.U.M.)" doesn't do anything for me despite a lot of people saying it's one of the highlights, and whoever fucking tells you that "The Filler - Sweet Jesus City" is NOT filler is trying to be different because holy shit, Devy called it. That being said, you should also be weary of anyone who says that "Cod Metal Thing" and "Critic" (that fuckin' RIFF) aren't good songs, because they are, and they probably eat celery with Nutella to negate the entire purpose of eating celery in the first place. The rest of this album, no matter how many funny little skits or whatever else are placed in them, is pretty forgettable or even outright shit, but DAMN those four songs are good enough to keep it from getting a totally terrible rating from me. Speaking of totally terrible things: Have you ever had MD 20/20 at 8 in the morning? It sure does have a unique flavor in the way that it tastes like total and utter fucking defeat... Not that I would know...
6/10
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