Punky Brüster - Cooked on Phonics (1996)

Punky Brewster was the first girl my brother ever had a crush on when he was like five. If you also wanted to know something else about him, one time when he was drunk, he confided to me that the first girl he ever masturbate to was the Yellow Ranger on the original "Power Rangers" series back in the day. I may have mentioned that before, but hey, reminder!

On his first solo release, Devin Townsend finds himself in a made-up death metal turned pop-punk band that parodies the pop-punk movement of the 1990s, going as far as to name-drop Green Day in the first track "Recipe for Bait", which, as you may know, has a song title parodying Bad Religion's "Recipe for Hate". Unfortunately, the joke is mainly just "WE'RE IN THIS FOR MONEY AND GIRLS!!" and it's kinda funny.. But there's really no reason for this to be 13 tracks long (almost 55 minutes long!!) because then the joke ends up beating your fucking head in with shit that you probably stopped laughing at by track two, "Fake Punk", which coincidentally is one of the best songs on the album. The album pretty much sounds like a "Dookie"-era Green Day with Devin Townsend on vocals, which is to say that it sounds kinda awkward, but there are catchy riffs and some catchy songs to be found, don't get me wrong! It just outwears its welcome with its running time and would've been better as an EP. It's an essential "gotta hear this" album if you're a fan of the Hevy Devy, but there's not much else to be found here outside of a few catchy songs to throw in a shuffles playlist, and furthermore, I can't really see myself returning to this much when it's DEVIN FUCKING TOWNSEND we're talking about, who has like a million other great albums. Motherfucker, I'm EXCITED to review his discography!!

ALSO I FUCKING SWEAR I'VE HEARD THE RIFF IN "The Girls Next Door" IN ANOTHER SONG!!

6/10
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Feel free to check out the song previews/buy this album using my Amazon Associate link!