The Dillinger Escape Plan - Ire Works (2007)

"An IRE is a unit used in the measurement of composite video signals. Its name is derived from the initials of the Institute of Radio Engineers. A value of 100 IRE was originally defined to be the range from black to white in a video signal. A value of 0 IRE corresponds to the voltage value of the signal during the blanking period. The sync pulse is normally 40 IRE below this 0 IRE value, so the total range covered from peak to trough of an all white signal would be 140 IRE.  The reason IRE is a relative measurement (percent) is because a video signal may be any amplitude. This unit is used in the ITU-R BT.470 which defines PAL, NTSC and SECAM." Thanks, Wikipedia, I think I understood a few of those words.

"Fuck it, I'm gonna join Coheed & Cambria!" drummer Chris Pennie said before smashing the glass window in the tower they found themselves breaking into in Japan, deploying an emergency rescue parachute and gliding away. "You know what?! FUCK ALL OF YOU! I'm gonna develop nerve damage in my left hand and it's gonna fucking suck but FUCK YOU!!" guitarist Brian Benoit, inspired by his ex-band member then said, before turning on the jetpack he had assembled from various crafts at IKEA. "Jeepers, guys: What do we do?!" vocalist Greg Puciato asked in a panicked frenzy, chewing at his fingernails. "Don't worry, I know just the guys.." guitarist Ben Weinman said before calling up their new drummer Gil Sharone and new guitarist Jeff Tuttle. "Wow, I'm really excited to be a part of the ba-" Jeff Tuttle said before getting interrupted by Ben Weinman. "Alright alright alright but I'm gonna be the only guitarist who plays on the album, my man. I'll see you when the water runs black." Ben Weinman said before flicking his wrist and shutting his Nokia flip-phone. It begins.

This album sees the band doing something pretty interesting: Taking the general sound from "Miss Machine" and also adding in certain elements from "Calculating Infinity" along with newer elements. If you wanted the frantic mathcore and instrumental interludes that were present on "Calculating Infinity", the catchiness and occasional vocal fragility of "Miss Machine", and now some heavy electronics/industrial influence to really add some battery acid to your chocolate milk, then you've fucking got it, buck-o! You've also got the magical ability to get WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT so I hope you want me dead sometime in the next week!! This album's got everything a DEP fan could want at this point in their catalog, including a riveting guest appearance you can't REALLY hear too well of ex-vocalist Dimitri Minakakis in the opening track "Fix Your Face", Mastodon's Brent Hinds in "Horse Hunter", and enough Faith No More influenced sprinkled across the album that it probably made Mike Patton himself jealous enough to put out another shitty noise album, ala "Fuck those guys! I can make noise too!!" and yeah, no one outside of tryhards listen to those albums, but this album? Only for regal gentlemen and gentlewomen that like to drink caviar and eat champagne on extravagant cruises across the Puerto Rican sea. Don't believe me?! Listen to "Mouth of Ghosts", you uncultured swine-eating fuck! You don't even know!! That song is FUCKIN' GREAT, BABY!! JUST LISTEN TO THEM JAZZY DRUMS!! If that doesn't get your lady shaking her shit-maker like she's trying to swing a turd over her shoulder, then maybe a bit of "Black Bubblegum" will have her tugging at your "Milk Lizard"!! These are song titles.

Question: Is "Lurch" about the rapper Big Lurch? I mean, it kinda fits, sorta, with some changed details as to what actually happened, but is it? Let me ask my headphones. Hold sec. Oh, my headphones are telling me that it's the BEST FUCKIN' MATHCORE SONG THAT THEY'VE DONE IN A MINUTE!! FUCK!! This album gets me pretty hype, as you can undoubtedly tell from the way that I've typed this entire review so hard that I'm bleeding out from underneath my fingernails, but hear me out: This album is really good. Maybe not "Miss Machine" levels of mind-blowing or full of as many live staples/fan favorites, but it's good, it gives you what you want while easing you into some other stuff, and it's undoubtedly the most varied of their releases (at least up to this point in their discography) so you should get this or you're a fuckin' dork. Can't even tell me "I'm not a dork" because I've seen you comment on MetalSucks articles about Sum 41 having the harshest guitar tone of any pop-punk band, motherfucker. I'm gonna go jerk off to how good this album is while laughing at how much of a plebeian fuck you are. P.S. I asked my mom and she said she wouldn't fuck you either.

8/10
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Feel free to check out the song previews/buy this album using my Amazon Associate link!