blink-182 - They Came to Conquer... Uranus (1996)
Get it?! Because it's like they're trying to take over a planet but it's actually a joke about them wanting to have ANAL SEX with YOUR ASS! Yeah, you read that correctly: Not their own (it'd be just weird if they could bend themselves down like that!) but YOURS! Suddenly I don't think my local Christian Music store should be stocking this anymore, but shh, it's our secret.. I also harbor a secret all to myself because I had to edit out the name of the real store! Yeah, try surviving without the free publicity handed to the two people who're gonna skim through this shit!!
First off.. WHY do all three of these songs sound like they were recorded in radically different recording quality?! It starts out pretty good with "Wrecked Him" but then it gets to "Waggy" and it sounds like they were mad at bassist/vocalist Mark Hoppus so they made his track sound like shit! Man.. They WRECKED HIM with that one! Not one man can escape the ferocity of a DeLonge scorned!! Ah well, it evens out right at the end with a passable "Zulu".
I don't know if these songs were recorded after "Cheshire Cat" or what, but damn, there's pretty much nothing much here to grab onto, because the songs aren't that good and it has such a short running time. I guess this was, if it was recorded with the songs on "Cheshire Cat" just a small plate of leftovers that not even your dog is really that excited about.
I can't think of much else to say so I'm gonna let my good old rugged friend take it from here!
"My cousin Randy told me this EP is dandy, and "Blink-182 is best in short doses like candy and brandy" because they aren't his fancy, unlike his girlfriend Nancy, who thinks he's a pansy because he's scared of chimpanzees and necromancy, because both are too chancy, and even though he's quite handy, he acts quite sycophancy to vigilantes, and one time I caught him a scanty pair of his mom's panti-"
R.A. THE RUGGED MAN, EVERYONE!!! WOOHOO!!! YEAH!!! BADA-BING, BADA-BOOM!!!
6/10
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