Green Day - Kerplunk (1992)

Now she looks like someone I want to KERPLUNK my nimROD into and hope she doesn't DOOKIE during our SHENANIGANS if you know what I mean! If you don't know what I mean, it means that I want her to kill me. You can hide the littlest messages into everyday speech when you're suicidal!

Sometime after the release of their first album, Billy Joel, or as he's now known, Billie Joe Armstrong, told drummer John "Al Sobrante" Kiffmeyer that "I can't trust your nickname or even your last name. It sounds.. Foreign, John." and after trying to deport his entire family into his best guess of country of origin (Africa) he stuck his dick into a glory hole in a 7/11 bathroom, came as soon as the hot air of the person's breath hit his dick, immediately jumped out of the stall, pulled the man from the next stall out, who turned out to be none other than Frank "Tré Cool" Wright III,  who proceeded to lay Billy Joel down on the floor and slap his ass repeatedly to rhythms to see his drumming skill. When Billy Joel came again, it was only natural to introduce the newfound talent into the band. How do I know this? It was MY mind that made all of this shit up!!

By possible luck, it's also mostly the same insecure teenage minds that brought you the previous album, especially hinted from how it's pretty much the same damn album but a bit better sounding. If you dug the previous album, you'll like this. If you didn't, then you're me and we need to stop downing Powerade so fast. It's like we almost didn't even have time to enjoy it, but what other course of action is realistic when your local gas station starts stocking "Watermelon Strawberry Wave"?! Have you tried that shit?! It was.. It was like Kool-Aid, actually! SHIT!

We still have to pad out the rest of the review? They don't think we can do it? We'll smash those sons of bitches out of the park. Okay, well, along with all of the insecure teenager songs, there's even an early version of their smash hit "Welcome to Paradise" on here! YOU GOTTA BE SHITTING MY DICK! YOU LITERALLY HAVE TO BE DEFECATING MY PENIS!! UH OH, YOU PUT IT BACK BETWEEN MY LEGS AND NOW WE'RE MAKING LOVE!! OH SHIT OH SHIT!! BABY I'M ABOUT TO PISS THIS NUT SAUCE ONTO YOUR FISH SALAD!! OH MAN OH GOD THE EARLY VERSION OF THE TRACK AIN'T THAT GREA- UGGHHHGHGHG

YEAH I'VE GOT NOTHING BUT POWERADE AND WHAT MORE DO YOU REALLY NEED

6/10
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Read about this album on Wikipedia! Great stuff to read while on the toilet! Yeah!