All Time Low - The Three Words to Remember in Dealing with the End EP (2004)

Guitarist/vocalist Alex Gaskarth said that it's "I love you" or some shit, or even referencing their band's name, but I like to imagine it's "Swallow More Xanax", in which case I'm way ahead of you, All Time Low!.. Because I'm at mine!!

This EP, to my knowledge, differs from some of All Time Low's other material because guitarist/vocalist Alex Gaskarth sings in a lower tone throughout the entire EP, which makes him sound like he's singing with his mouth mostly closed a fair bit of the time and it sounds so monotonous! If only he kept his mouth fully closed, right?! Just fill the hole with guitarist Jack Barakat's dick or something, I don't know.

Anyway, onto the actual music: Man, it's a boring bundle of songs, ain't it? No punch at all! NOT EVEN A SLAP! There (to my ears, at least) aren't really any catchy melodies to be found, just some generic dime-a-dozen "send us a friend request on MySpace" melodies from bands that never went anywhere, except this one ended up winning your older sister's heart in 2007, and won your little sister's heart in 2013.

There's so little to be said about this EP that I feel like I've already wasted too many words on it. I could've spent all of this time doing something productive like writing erotica about my favorite Pixar characters getting shoved up an obese man's ass, but nope, had to listen to this instead, so here's your three words for dealing with this EP:

"I'm so bored."

5/10