Lostprophets - Here Cumz tha Party (1997)
Before vocalist Ian Watkins was singing great songs such as "Rooftops (A Liberation Transmission)" and being a complete piece of shit, he was trying his best Fred Durst impersonation damn near constantly. Maybe he actually thought he was Fred Durst at the time due to some bad choice of hallucinogens that his friend forgot to warn and ask him "Hey, these might make you feel like Fred Durst, and why did you want to meet at a kindergarten?" but even musically stranger is that there's.. THERE'S A HORN SECTION IN SOME OF THESE SONGS!! They had their feet wet in ska before they got signed! That shit's so surprising. I think this is the only nu-metal ska album I know of, or maybe even in existence, provided that all 14 year olds in 1998 never got to realize their dreams of combining their two favorite musical genres like ketchup and ice cream.
Let me repeat it to you, if anything because I'm in amazement myself: THE "PARTY" THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT IS NU-METAL SKA!! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF "I exclusively wear shirts with flames on the bottom" SHIT WAS GOING ON IN WALES IN 1997?! Was Bill Clinton too busy denying having sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky to send someone out to investigate what must've been in Wales' water supply at the time? Now THAT'S a reason to get impeached!
The entire album sounds like they were just trying to imitate most popular nu-metal bands at the time, maybe hoping to ride their success while also attempting to cut their teeth in the ska scene, if the whole nu-metal shit didn't work out for them. Vocalist Ian Watkins, like I said, sounds like Limp Bizkit's Fred Durst when he raps, and can only rarely hold a tune while singing. Don't even get me started about the ending of the track "Reprazent", where he has a full-on "JONATHAN DAVIS IS MY IDOL" fake mental breakdown towards the end of it. What the hell is that shit about? Come on, now, you're just pushing my buttons at this point, and not even the good ones!!
I admit: Some of this shit sounds like shit I'd probably dig a little bit if it was recorded better, if anything, because my teenage angst never ended and will probably follow me six feet under, but it's almost like an embarrassing high school yearbook put into audio form! If I had the chance to make music like this when I was fifteen, I have no doubt that I definitely would have, but thank God I didn't give people even more ammo to shoot at my self-esteem with in this current year. Thankfully, like most responsible and respectful adults, I give them more than enough from current fuck-ups. Also as a responsible and respectful adult, I'm allowed within 500 feet of a school. Feel jealous yet, Ian Watkins?!
5/10
