New Found Glory - Sticks and Stones (2002)
When I was 17, I related to this album a lot, and now five years later, I still do because life is fucking DOODOO sometimes!! But no really, I was a fucking mess. I'm sure at some point I probably even thought "this album was, like, written about me, it feels like" but New Found Glory didn't write an entire album about a whiny little bitch!! NO, they wrote an album about BEING a whiny little bitch!! Not some fucking moronic teenager. Anyhow, if you want an album to listen to when it's 6 AM and you still can't sleep because you can't help but think about your current situation and your suicidal fantasies, this is a damn good album to have playing in the background while hoping she comes back!.. BUT SHE FUCKING WON'T, THAT'S THE SHITTY THING ABOUT ABSOLUTELY FUCKING EVERYTHING!!! WOO DOGGY!!! Anyhow, anyway, anywhere, this is a pretty good album that'll have you tapping your toes in your socks + sandals combination, and I'm gonna tell you why IF YOU'LL FUCKIN' LET ME!!
Let's run through the checklist: Insecure lyrics? More than you can possibly imagine! Catchy songs with great melodies? That's all there is! A will to live? You DEFINITELY won't find one while listening to this album!! This album is basically pop-punk at its most insecure, and it lays down the blueprint for all of those generic pop-punk bands you probably hate, because despite all of the countless New Found Glory imitators, this album is GREAT!! Don't believe me? Just look at how many exclamation points I've used so far! Every single song on here is a good'n, and I dare you to contest me on that, because I promise I'll kick your ass if you deny the greatness that is this album, because look at me, I'm an ugly and moronic piece of shit that no woman is ever going to touch, but that's cool because practically all of these songs are anthems that're at least within a few degrees of separation of that. I was never much of a New Found Glory guy when I was a teenager aside from this album, because I found myself fancying blink-182 more, but this album can compete with blink-182's best and catchiest.
I could talk about literally any of the songs on this album being highlights, especially since the production quality of the songs have been beefed up a shitload since the previous album, allowing the songs to fully "pop" so to speak, but if you're able to listen to the classic "My Friends Over You", "Something I Call a Personality" (Why does this have Mark Hoppus on guest-bass? Their bassist Ian Grushka is great), or "Forget My Name" (How the hell did I not know Alkaline Trio's Matt Skiba and Dan Andriano are on this song?!) without instantly being transported mentally back to high school and all of the countless mistakes you made while in that living Hell, then you are definitely a much stronger person than I am, but WATEVER DAD I SERUSLY JUST DONT EVEN CARE OK I HAVE THIS ALBUM ANND ITS BETTER THAN UR LAMEASS LED ZEPPELING CDS and you probably have a significant other. You know what I have? Excess body fat. Oh my God I am such a disgusting human-being and this album ain't helping me change that view. Maybe this was the wrong day to listen to this album, or maybe it was the BEST day, who knows, all I know is that I kind of want to hug Jordan Pundik. He kinda looks like Quentin Tarantino, you know? He might even be Quentin Tarantino but I haven't ever seen Jordan Pundik write himself a role into his own movie just to show up and drop the N-bomb repeatedly. Seriously, what's up with that?
8/10
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Feel free to check out the song previews/buy this album using my Amazon Associate link!
