Panic! at the Disco - Vices & Virtues (2011)

THE EXCLAMATION POINT IS BACK!!

After the two-hit-knock-out-punch of the electronic-rock/baroque-pop flavored "A Fever You Can't Sweat Out" and the psychedelic/folk flavorings of "Pretty. Odd." many people were wondering "Can these guys even fuck up?!" but yeah, they certainly can, and they did because before the recording of this album, they lost two members of their lovely teenage heartthrob quarter: Bassist Jon Walker, and guitarist/backing vocalist/occasional lead vocalist/lyricist/composer/songwriter/keyboardist/pianist/harmonicist/synthesist/organist/accordionist/programmer/GENERAL FUCKING MUSICAL POWERHOUSE RYAN ROSS. DID YOU EVEN CATCH ALL OF THAT?! OH MY GOD, IF THAT GUY WAS IN YOUR BAND, YOU'D DO YOUR DAMNED BEST TO KEEP HIM IN, ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WRITES ALL OF YOUR FUCKING SONGS!! And just to think: This was a tragedy that president Barack Obama DIDN'T issue a statement on, and we re-elected him!! It's hard to say some shit like "It's like the band is walking without a leg" when Ryan Ross might as well have been both legs and even its dick, because he was a huge reason for all of the pussy they got from MySpace queens.

Thankfully, it could be a lot worse, because the band (now built up of just vocalist Brendon Urie and drummer Spencer Smith) was quick to hop back on, even if the material can be a bit awkward compared to older material. They did manage to make a musical evolution on this album while doing a bit of a throwback to older times, such as the musical theatrics and jazzier moments of "A Fever You Can't Sweat Out" mixed with an occasional throwback to "Pretty. Odd." to perhaps show that despite the main musical genius in the band being gone, they're still able to mimic the magic of their old work.. Or at least a bit of it. See, a huge part of the band's appeal when they burst onto the scene was that while the music was quite theatric, the lyrics had a certain poetic and beautiful vibe to them, with Ryan Ross being able to write lyrics that captivated the listener, were full of nonstop quotables, and even in the case of "Pretty. Odd." being able to capture the magic that the Beatles unleashed into the world in the 1960s. Now we have Brendon Urie writing the lyrics, and they're pretty much just personal for the most part, with him talking about emotions, past loves, etc, and that's fine, but they're typically VERY blunt with no analyzation needed or clever metaphors, and when you've had a very well-written discography up to that point that had lyrics that could read like sections of novels, You really need to either spend as much time as needed to meet that quality, or you should just not even try, and I'm not sure what the case was with this album, especially when Ryan Ross' last lyrical contribution to the band appearing on this album in the form of "Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met...)" and even if I didn't know beforehand that he had writing credits on the song, I'd be able to tell.

Truth be told, I like all of these songs, but I don't really -love- any of them. I think they're all pretty good for what they are, with "The Ballad of Mona Lisa" being a solid pop tune, "Let's Kill Tonight" capturing the musical theatrics of the first album perfectly, and so on so forth. Basically, all of the songs are good, but then "Ready to Go (Get Me Out of My Mind)" kicks in and has a chorus that SCREAMS at the top of its lungs "PUT THIS IN THE BACKGROUND OF A NEW IPHONE COMMERCIAL WHERE YOU SHOW A SMALL CHILD AND PARENT BEING AMAZED BY AND SHARING A LOVING MOMENT ONLY MADE POSSIBLE BY THE NEWEST TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENTS!!" and if you think "shit that's a lot of words for one breath", have you EVER listened to Brendon Urie sing most of the songs off of their first album?! He's gonna be on the new "Worldwide Choppers" eventually, holy shit!! Okay, not really but fuck you fuck you fuck you. Thankfully, it's followed right after by the great "Pretty. Odd." throwback "Always", which is so damn adorable and welcome in an album full of pop tunes.

The album definitely aims to be dancey and get you shaking in your skinny-jeans, but even disregarding the band's previous discography, it still doesn't feel like it reaches any heights that I'd continue to talk about ten years or so years from now, due to it seeming to lack much substance past being some catchy songs, it's still a fun album that looks towards the past while walking forward into a poppier environment, and that's alright with me, just maybe not in big doses, because unlike Cap'n Crunch, I don't think I could be fully engrossed by this past an hour. I know you're wondering why Cap'n Crunch especially and it's because I'm a fatass who loves sugar. I am on a downwards spiral towards an early death via diabetic coma.

7/10
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Feel free to check out the song previews/buy this album using my Amazon Associate link!