Ween - The Crucial Squeegie Lip (1986)
Man, and I thought the Against Me! demo I just reviewed sounded shitty! This sounds like it was recorded in a steel trash can from a boombox that was later mastered in mono!.. If I got any of that wrong, sue me, I haven't listened to Crotchduster in a year or two, and what would the average son of a bitch know 'bout Crotchduster? Nothin', because they're just shitass bitches.
In "Nippy Wiffle", a quick interpretation of "Mary Had a Little Lamb" is played on guitar, and that's notable, right?.. No? Shit, I hope I can find something else! What about the multiple songs about wanting to touch a pair of boobs, called "Boobs (Part I)", "Boobs (Part II)", and "Boobs (Part III)"? Do those count for anything? What about the track "I Drink a Lot"? I can relate, because I drink moderate amounts of alcohol because I think it makes me more interesting, and in actuality, I just end up saying more shit that keeps me up at night for the next three years! That and it kinda sounds like a Black Flag song, I guess.
There's even a Beatles cover song in the middle of all of this audio tyranny! "Hey Bulldog", er, wait, "Hey Bullfrog" is covered, and that's a thing. That's a thing that exists. It really shouldn't, but it does. For what reason why? Not a damn clue.
In the track "You Fucked Up", Ween repeatedly reminds me that I fucked up, but in what way? By listening to all 40 tracks on this shit-tactular demo! No matter how much fun it sounds like they're having, no matter what slightly humorous things they're talking about, it doesn't change the fact that the album sounds like complete shit and any redeeming factors that it could have, are completely stripped away because it's near un-listenable at times.
Or maybe that was the point?! DAMMIT, I'VE BEEN RUSED!!
3/10
