Cattle Decapitation - Ten Torments of the Damned (1997)

Ten Torments of the Damned? More like ten torments of my ATH M50x’s because these are shit!! Okay, maybe they’re not shit, but they’re grindcore, and that’s normally pretty close, but isn’t that the point?!

Before they recruited vocalist Travis Ryan from a nearby all-boys Catholic school they had been scoping out for undisclosed reasons, they had Scott Miller and he sounds like his balls are being dipped into boiling water by the other members of the band!! Notice how I still had to use a photo of the line-up with Travis Ryan because I couldn't find any photos of the band with Scott Miller. Shame!
 
Pretty standard grindcore for the most part, with some interesting little sections of songs that break away from the norm, but every damn time you feel like hitting the town with the bootythumping basslines (a common characteristic of grindcore) such as the top 40 hits “Projectile Pig Vomit” or “Christ on Crack”, they dip Scott Miller's smelly little giblets back into the water! Man, these Christian Community College hazing rituals are getting more and more brutal by the year!!

Sure, there are some musically interesting moments in the 8 minute running time, but is it worth it? Probably not. Is Scott Miller going to be able to have children after what Cattle Decapitation have done to him? Probably not. Is this good for telling your dad “this is what the kids are into these days”? MOST DEFINITELY

(I didn’t put in a joke about how he should just go ahead with forced gender reassignment after his genital torture because that’s where YOU come in with that classic comment! YOU came up with that! I love you)

6/10
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