wecamewithbrokenteeth - sweet. sweet rock. (2005)
Even though it's only 12 minutes or so, the minutes felt like hours. I stared into the abyss, and something with neon hair highlights stared back. We locked eyes. I ask "Why must you use FL Studio's Slayer plug-in for the guitars? It sounds so thin!" and the creature merely smiled at me. "Why the random hip-hop beats in some of the songs?!" I screamed at it, and a faint chuckle escaped its pierced lip.
"The vocals sound like they were recorded on a cheap microphone from a Creative Zen MP3 player!!" I scream as I grab the creature by its shoulders, shaking it violently. "Why release this at all?!" I break down, tears falling down my face as I collapse to my knees in front of the creature.
To my amazement, the creature put its right hand on my right shoulder, and placed its left hand under my chin, pulling up slightly to look it in the face. I see a smile emit from its face once more, and then open its mouth, as if it's about to bestow knowledge upon me from the seventh gate of Hell itself.
"Rawr :B"
I fall to the ground paralyzed, hitting my head on the concrete. I immediately have a seizure as I feel blood exiting from my ears, half of which was there from before I had even hit the ground. As I lay there, praying for a quick death, the creature places its hand on my forehead, leaving a coin for Charon to carry me across the rivers of Styx and Acheron.
The creature leaves my side, perhaps to find a new victim in the vast, empty sinkhole of the rare occasional social degenerate, that was founded by Tom Anderson in the year of 2003. As I lay there, preparing for my soul to escape my body for the other side, I can't help but wonder:
"People used to seriously listen to this shit?!"
3/10
