Panic! at the Disco - Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die! (2013)

Brendon Urie being the lone object in the album cover should've been a warning.

Life's kinda funny: One day you're in a band where all you have to do is sing some words while one guy in your band writes and composes all of the lyrics/songs down to the very last detail, and the next, you're suddenly thrown into the water and forced to write songs with pretty much only your drummer by your side. Of course, I covered all of that shit with my review of "Vices & Virtues" so I won't spend any time here fellating Ryan Ross, but sweet mother of God, his presence is missed more than ever on this fucking album.

Okay, let's start from the top: The band/duo has come up with yet another new sound this time around, this time flirting even more dangerously with pop and electronic music to the point where an electric guitar is pretty much a foreign object, and I get that: I dig some electronic music, but much like every other genre, there has to be something there to grab me, some form of substance that manifests itself into delectable little earworms that make me say "Gosh darn it, they sure have done it again! Golly gee whiz, this album.. FUCK!!" and I'll fall in love like a dumbass hormone-stricken teenager. Don't get me wrong, this album's got a few tunes I like, but hear me out on this: Innovation and experimentation is great, but at what point does a band simply stop being what they once were, for the worse? The answer to that question is none other than "Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die!"

Let's start out with some positives: There are three songs on here I actually do quite enjoy! "Miss Jackson (feat. Lolo)" is really fucking good and sees the band (instrumentally) taking influence from hip-hop to make a catchy tune, and the featured artist, Lolo, does quite well on it. That combined with the infectiously catchy electronic-tinged "Vegas Lights" and the atmospheric "Casual Affair" makes a total hulking number of THREE songs on this album that I like a lot! Those three songs would've made for a good, short EP and would've been a nice little teaser in the meantime while waiting for a new album. What I'm trying to express about this is that I'm not against the band's new sound on this album as long as it's done well, then I'm perfectly up to it and I'm excited to hear some catchy new songs, but the rest of the album, it pains me to say, falls quite fucking heavily not only in the band's discography, but as an album as a whole.

Whether it be absolutely fucking GOD-AWFUL choruses ("Girls/Girls/Boys" in particular makes me want to fucking headbutt a large rusty nail on the wall) or just general bland pop songs, don't worry, this album fucking has you covered! This album feels so much like a vehicle for promoting Brendon Urie as a solo popstar that it's hard to even acknowledge this as actually being a Panic! at the Disco record, due to the fact that in comparison with their other albums (well, okay, maybe not so much "Vices & Virtues" at times) it feels like it's directly pandering to an audience of people who don't even listen to the band, just to hope they hear a catchy tune on the radio and buy the album blindly to hear Brendon Urie sing about life in Las Vegas over more interchangeable electronic instrumentals. The genuine love for music and the urge to think outside of the box that was found on the previous albums just isn't really here for the most part. It's not necessarily bad, but it's sure as fuck not good. It's bland as fuck.

"I wanna hear you rip into the songs some more!" You mentally exclaim but you're a fucking moron because you're READING me, not HEARING me!! Okay, "Nicotine" is such an incredibly fucking annoying song that I could totally hear being played at a trashy karaoke bar, and I SWEAR TO GOD that I've heard this EXACT melody in an older song! Am I going crazy?! Why do some of these songs sound like they're ripe and ready for being covered by a team of high schoolers on "Glee"?! Or how about THIS: How has the band (I must use "band" lightly since it's just Brendon Urie and Spencer Smith) that made such beautiful songs as "Northern Downpour" and "She Had the World" make another attempt at a love song ("The End of All Things") and completely fucking slather it in vocoders and autotune?! It's being DROWNED in it! It doesn't help that this song (much like many on the album) is particularly uninteresting, either. Outside of the three songs I liked, this album just feels so much like a cash-in for Brendon Urie to take advantage of his vocal talent and for Spencer Smith to tag along for the ride.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be reminiscing about the quality of music that this band used to put out many moons ago, and I'll likely end up with a bottle of some cheap wine before the night's over. That's my life.

5/10
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Feel free to check out the song previews/buy this album using my Amazon Associate link!