Emmure - Felony (2009)

It sure is a felony to recklessly chugga chugga these guitars!!.. Has that joke already been made by some angry internet metalhead? If it has, swap that out for "It sure is a felony to assault my ear drums!!" even though I like this album. I guess just imagine I was talking about Justin Bieber or something. I mean, we're still in 2010 where making fun of him is funny, right?!.. Ah fuck.

Ah, Emmure.. After "The Respect Issue" boring me because it was just nonstop breakdowns, this album is back to the fun stuff and even includes some nu-metal shit, like rapping and the sort, and they've incorporated more clean vocals than ever before (in the case of "Don't Be One" they're actually pretty tolerable) but I still think these guys are fun and the deathcore equivalent of chugging two cans of Monster in under a minute in some juvenile attempt to try to impress a hot girl at camp. The music isn't just chugging, as much as the dudes who listened to this album with the mission already set out to hate it would tell you, there's a bit more going on in the music than ever before with some mildly technical moments instrumentally, and the vocals sound better to me than they ever have up to this point, but all of it comes down to if you already like Emmure or not. If you dislike them because of the cringeworthy thing of being all "HAHA, HATING ON BANDS TEENAGERS LIKE IS FUNNY IN 2017, RIGHT GUYS??.. Except for the bands -I- like!!" then I don't really know if I can see this album changing anything for you, but for the rest of us, it's still not -great- but it's fun, dude. Just fucking chill and bob your head, it ain't like Axl Rosenberg and Vince Neilstein are here to call you out because they're too busy sucking the smegma off of Suicide Silence's dicks. Axl's real name is Matthew, by the way.

7/10
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