Emmure - The Complete Guide to Needlework (2006)

I think the title of the EP kinda makes you think that there's gonna be tons of weedly-deedly guitar fuckery, but nope, just more breakdowns than your pregnant sister when your brother-in-law won't let her drink bleach as part of one of her weird pregnancy cravings. If you think that's not real, fucking Google it.

Maybe I'm in the minority of online people who like metal (I will never refer to myself as a metalhead for as long as I live) in the way that I don't think that Emmure is the worst thing to have ever happened to metal, ever. I think they're actually kinda fun sometimes and you just gotta know why you're listening to them: Don't listen to Emmure if you want technicality, and don't listen to Dream Theater if you want breakdowns. Hell, don't listen to Dream Theater if you ever want to make a goal of losing your virginity, for that matter. Is it really that hard to comprehend the differences between bands and what they AIM to bring to the table? Anyhow, this ain't the worst shit I've ever heard but it's definitely not the best. "Looking a Gift Horse in the Mouth" is easily the most interesting track on an instrumental side, but "A Fist Fight With Dick Tracy" has got a few cool parts to it as well. The problem is that none of these tracks are really -good-, I guess. They're just kinda "we made some tracks for y'all to do invisible karate to live, but they're not that great in ya headphones" even if you'll never hear them admit that, because on this EP, they sound like a MySpace band that never took off. Bummer.

5/10
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Feel free to check out the song previews/buy this album using my Amazon Associate link!