All Time Low - Dirty Work (2011)
Ah, New Found Gl- ALL TIME LOW return from "Nothing Personal" with an album that tries harder than ever before to get on mainstream radio, and don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against mainstream radio or even just All Time Low, because I'm a sucker for a well-written catchy tune, and people don't realize that it takes a special kind of talent to make catchy songs as well as these producers they like to hate on (*cough* John Feldmann *cough*) in internet forums, last.fm, and wherever else angry metalheads lurk, eager to start a fight with an 14 year old girl who already gets bullied enough in her every day life. Fuck them for liking music that we don't, right? Sluts!! Anyhow, this whole thing kinda makes All Time Low come across as a boyband and not an actual, y'know, BAND band, so I understand the upset fan reactions to this album, because no matter how much you claim that "I Feel Like Dancin'" is a satirical song, it still sounds awkward and douchey, and I absolutely cannot fucking believe that Rivers Cuomo of Weezer fame actually helped write the fucking song. Yes, I get that it's satirical, but fuck off.
Don't get me wrong, there was nothing ever really gritty about this band's music by any means, but a huge problem with this album is that it's just too fucking sterile. It sounds like they wrote some okay songs and then it was just sprayed repeatedly with some musical form of Windex to make sure everything was absolutely squeaky clean. I'd honestly go as far to say that Twenty One Pilots take more risks in the course of two songs than All Time Low takes on this entire album. There's just no real punch to it at all, and sadly, despite how catchy some of the songs are, I honestly don't get how anyone could seriously think that this album has much musical substance to it. I listen to this album and just think about what the songs could've been if they were handed to a more capable vocalist, like Brendon Urie of Panic! at the Disco fame, but if the lyrics were to remain the same.. Oh boy. Fuck it, nevermind. On this entire album, and I challenge you to test me on this, you will not find a single memorable guitar riff. I mean, I know that they never really had terribly memorable guitar riffs before, but at least they were more prominently used in the music, yeah? And yeah, I know "Nothing Personal" wasn't exactly the face of the genre, but this album is so far removed from being pop-punk while still managing to be in the realm of it. It's just barely fucking applicable, because it doesn't even really sound like they're a -band- on this album, but more like a solo pop outing for Alex Gaskarth with the occasional electric guitar distortion in the background, with no real reason for it being there other than to give Jack Barakat something to do other than just run around on stage.
I think the thing that confuses me the most is that the (arguably) best song on the entire album, "Bad Enough For You" is kept as a bonus track, and the absolute worst fucking song they've ever recorded ("My Only One") is even included as a bonus track in general, because that song is an autotuned piece of fucking shit that begs the questions "What do you say when your heart's not in it, your heart's not in it? What do you do when you just don't get it, you just don't get it?" and without answering that question themselves, the answer is apparently to make this album. Mildly catchy tunes without much staying power to actually be anything more than a song on the radio that you don't switch stations for when it comes on. Something tells me that you should aim for a little something more than that, but hey.. Whatever, right? Just get your shit on the radio, collect a royalty check and say "fuck it", why not? God, I'm actually kinda bothered by this. Shit. I need to go take a fuckin' nap.
6/10
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