Hollywood Undead - Black Dahlia EP (2010)
Oh my God WHAT A SACK OF SHIT. Remember "Black Dahlia", the most emo tune off of "Swan Songs"? If you had the chance to put out a Hollywood Undead remix EP from that era, you'd probably pick either "Undead", "Everywhere I Go", or "No. 5", you know, one of the songs that hypes you up and that you can picture actually being remixed well. Not the fuckin' song that has the smallest balls on the album!! There was already a distinct lack of balls in that song, or even much to really admire past your first teenage breakup, because it's a pretty shitty song that doesn't really accomplish anything past "Woe is me, feel bad that you broke up with me" and pretty much enables teenagers to be angry pieces of shit about ended relationships, which I understand because I was a very angry teenager, but holy shit this is a piece of shit. If the original had balls that were being strangled by skin-tight jeans, these were just cut off in the process.
If you're wondering "I wonder how they remixed it. Did they make it darker or something?" just know that NOPE, it's the complete 180 of what you imagined: THEY'RE POPPY AS FUCK! Now you get to hear Johnny 3 Tears and J-Dog scream over poppy instrumentals, and Deuce whine his way through a chorus over beats meant for the average pop star. Each one of these remixes is incredibly awkward to make it through, and makes me wonder "WHO IS SERIOUSLY LISTENING TO THESE?" because of the awkward poppy nature to the songs mixed with the aggressive rapping/screaming and whiny choruses. This is truly the most BrokeNCYDE-esque music in the band's entire discography. What an awkward and unneeded piece of shit... Like me!! Uh oh, caught in my feelings again, but I'm sorry, NO!! I USD 2 BE LUVSTRUK NOW IM JUST FUKKED UP!!! [DANCE BEAT INTENSIFIES]
4/10
