Canibus - Can-I-Bus (1998)
Apparently, from what I've been told, Canibus was some up-and-coming hip-hop prodigy before this album released and a lot of people were disappointed by it for whatever reason, I guess for it not reaching expectations, but I wouldn't know because I was just a dumbass four year old trying not to shit himself while watching Pokémon. The fact that I put the accent sign over the e is a sign that I'm smarter than you. The fact that I said "accent sign" and you probably know the actual term for it is a sign that I'm still smarter than you because at least I'm smart enough not to be a fuckin' geek with a PHD and shit.
Honestly, some of this album kicks my ass and some of this album leaves me reminiscing of the other tracks like an old friend that's gone to war. The album has a great initial (after the awkward-ass intro of Canibus supposedly hacking something) four track run, with "Patriots" having a good beat, "Get Retarded" being pretty trippy and overall awesome, "Niggonometry" being pretty funny (i.e. "Now if a bitch sucks yo' dick for five dollars per square inch, and gets forty dollars, including a five dollar tip, how big was the dick she just sucked?") but then you get to "Second Round K.O." which is a diss track to L.L. Cool J, and what happens? It starts out with Mike Tyson, with his unintentionally comical lisp in full-rage, telling Canibus via voicemail "Yo Canibus, your main objective out here is to do nothing but EAT, EAT, EAT, EAT MC's for lunch, breakfast." which is just funny sounding until Canibus himself delivers the line (with the utmost confidence) that ruins the entire song:
"Well let me tell you something: You might got more cash than me, but you ain't got the skills to eat a nigga's ass like me."
I SHIT YOU NOT. I THINK HE MEANT TO SAY "BEAT" BUT HE JUST FUCKED UP AND HOLY SHIT IT'S SO HILARIOUS THAT I AM SCREAMING AT MY COMPUTER AS I TYPE THIS
Aside from that legendary moment, Canibus is pretty awesome as shit when it comes to rhyming, telling stories, and bragging about how much better he is at rapping than everyone else, but unfortunately, Canibus runs into the issue of having his beats sound somewhat same-y, and while there's a lot of lines on this album that are awesome, his flow is always on point, and everything, there's something still holding this back from being a classic. Maybe if you got some DJ Mustard production on this shit then we'd be bumping Canibus in the whip, and by "the whip", I mean "in a glass that I put my phone in to amplify the sound while I shower, but not too loud as to make anyone think I'm a "real hip-hop head"."
CAN-I-BUS? MORE LIKE CAN-YOU-PLEASE-COME-THROUGH-WITH-A-CLASSIC-BECAUSE-my-life-has-honestly-been-pretty-shitty-lately-and-I-don't-think-my-dad-is-ever-going-to-fully-recover-from-that-motorcycle-accident-he-had-recently-SO-I-WANT-TO-GET-FULLY-HYPE-WITH-THE-CANIBUS-MAN!!!!
Too wordy of a title? Have you even HEARD Canibus rap?!
7/10
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Feel free to check out the song previews/buy this album using my Amazon Associate link!
