New Found Glory - It's All About the Girls (1997)
I know you, as a diehard fan who has or will inevitably carve my name into the back of your head, are expecting some of my razor-sharp wit to come into play with a long review about these five, short little songs, and criticism about how they really aren't noteworthy or good at all, but that's to be expected, like a cat feasting upon its owner's cadaver after just a day of rotting away in a living room in suburban America. That shit isn't just happening in these foreign countries you're scared of, cats are scary as shit and you allow them right into your house like a "SERIAL KILLERS WELCOME" sign on your front lawn.
I suppose another thing you'd expect me to show in this review is my expert writing which has been commended by the New York Times, Pitchfork, and even Roger Ebert (before he went to cinema-Valhalla) about a million or so times, along with beautiful, well-endowed women trying to break into my house in an attempt to fornicate with me, in exchange for me allowing them to touch my signed vinyl copy of Kid Rock's 1998 avant-garde masterpiece "Devil Without a Cause", but I'm afraid I'll have to hold back my brilliant, God-given talent for another review, because this kinda sucks and a younger me would've probably proclaimed it as being "Like, really whiny" because it is, but it isn't the whiny that -I- can whine to internally while listening to, and everything that I don't like is complete and utter tripe worthy of being thrown directly into the bowels of Hell for Satan himself to torture for all eternity.
So yeah, I guess I didn't really like it that much.
5/10
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