All Time Low - The Party Scene (2005)

I'm not too sure if I want to go to a party full of people running around with smeared mascara, band t-shirts with quirky names and (the most disgusting of them all) flip-phones. Remember when it was cool as shit to open or close your phone with a flick of the wrist? All Time Low and your older sister remember. Talk to her sometime, she seems pretty depressed lately.

On this release, All Time Low try to bombard you with catchy melodies fit for crying to, and unfortunately only a few of them stick, and by "stick", I mean they'll probably give you a feeling of "Should I put this in my shuffle playlist?" before deciding against, because you don't want yet another song you always skip in there that you can't bring yourself to delete: You have the entire (up to 2007, really) Linkin Park discography you've heard a million times already for that!

Guitarist/vocalist Alex Gaskarth sound like he's trying a little too hard to be Fall Out Boy's guitarist/vocalist Patrick Stump at times, but unfortunately, without Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz's lyrics, the charm and lovable nature of the music falls pretty short of what they're desperately trying to cling onto, and even if they had the same lyrical quality, there's just not much here at all: Unmemorable melodies, riffs, and lyrics will make sure everyone will be evacuating the party in 30 seconds flat, but at least the mediocre nature of the songs on here don't reach the shit-tier level of some of their later songs. "My Only One" from 2011 release "Dirty Work"? Oh man, don't even fucking get me started.

If "The Party Scene" is representative of what the party is/was actually like, then the life of the party didn't just die, it was simply never there to begin with, much like my virginity, because I was metaphorically fucked from the day I was born. Damn these happy-sad kids making happy-sad pop-punk!! PICK ONE, YOU ASSHOLES!!

5/10
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