Bad Religion - Bad Religion (1981)

Crank this up loud and get ready to piss off your parents with the lyrics that you (and hopefully they) can understand through the mostly off-key yelling!

Unfortunately, the EP comes across as little more than a version of Ramones that wishes to rebel against its parents’ religious views. I mean, just take a look at that cover! That must’ve been pretty shocking in 1981, which, as of 2016, was like 80 years ago, but in the current day, it comes across as relatively try-hard. I get the fact that it’s their symbol, which is fine, it sums up the band’s name, but when it’s left alone as the cover art to the EP, it’s an attention-grabber that ultimately doesn’t feel like it fits with the music.

But damn, Greg Gaffin’s (whose name I frequently mix up with Jim Gaffigan. Imagine THAT for a hardcore punk band!) can hit the spot. “Drastic Actions”, track 5 on the EP, talks about suicide in quite a mature way for a then-16 year old boy. Sadly, the admittedly mature tone of the lyrical content cannot mask the sound of unfocused teenage rage.

Production is.. It’s a 1981 EP by a hardcore punk band full of teenagers, what do you think? If you go into this with any hopes of some sweetass Dr. Dre production, then you're fuckin' screwed.

The most thought-provoking question this EP raises is “How do you review 9 minutes of shitty punk rock?” and the answer is “Well, the perceived quality of music is entirely subjective, so I cannot state as an objective fact whether this is shitty or not, but if I had to wager a guess.. Just like that, bitch.” but since I'm such a little sissy bitch, it'd probably actually exit my mouth as "j-jus- I don't know man" and I'd go on to mentally beat the shit out of myself in the shower for months to come!

5/10
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